One of the statistics which stops you in your tracks was flagged up again this week when two of the younger members of the House of Windsor talked about mental health issues and men: three quarters of suicides are male. But dig further down and the picture is rather bleaker – suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45!

Think about it – that means it out ranks car crashes, cancer, heart disease, and all the other headline hitting ailments that we associate with premature death. I’ve known about two male suicides – one the young employee of a friend, and the other the husband of a woman with whom I went to school.

The latter was a high flying scientist, enthusiastic climber and father of two daughters who was suddenly made redundant. Over 200 job applications brought him nothing – sometimes not even the casual courtesy of a pro forma reply. All of which impacted not just on his sense of self worth, but the family dynamic. One Easter, when his wife and daughters were away, he hanged himself.

When a tragedy like that happens people get angry as well as sad. How could he do that to his family is a typical response. As if suicide could be looked on in any way shape or form as a rational act. As the chilling phrase goes – the balance of his mind was clearly disturbed.

I didn’t know the other young man – and he was very young; just an apprentice on the threshold of adult life. But I’m pretty sure he fitted the usual pattern of young men who would do anything rather than admit to what they’ve been brought up to think of as “weakness”. Fessing up to not being able to cope.

These are tragedies to which we are all accessories before the fact. We praise little boys for being tough. We ridicule them for being “big girls’ blouses” if they’re not. And what a telling phrase that is. Don’t be like a girl whatever you do. Big boys don’t cry. Big boys just have to find a way to navigate the myriad challenges life and work and study and relationships throw at them.

So if we’re getting to a stage where “manning up” doesn’t mean finding your inner Clint Eastwood, but instead being willing to

acknowledge feelings of despair, being unafraid to admit to needing help, being able to open up to friends and family about fears and problems, then nothing but good can come of it.

Big boys do cry. And it can give them the same release from tension and disappointment as it does the other half of the human race.