THERE is a useful wee clue in the name. Public Convenience - a convenient loo for members of the public.

The one in our village is due for closure, apparently due to the extra cleaning costs of life under Covid-19. The nearest one, should a visitor be caught short, is in Helensburgh, a mere 13-odd miles away.

Several folk have written to the council, more in anger than green ink, questioning the wisdom of closing down yet another local facility.

One of them, Alistair Lamont, was somewhat bemused to get a response suggesting that there had been local representation when the decision was made: two councillors who represent Helensburgh wards.

And the response he got indicated just how intimately knowledgeable they are about our patch.

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It talks about “local pubs, restaurants and cafes” being able to cater for the toileting needs of Waverley passengers.

As a somewhat exasperated Mr Lamont pointed out: “You state that the local pubs, restaurants and cafes will provide facilities for customers from the Waverley. It would appear that the council officials and the leader and co-leader of the council are unfamiliar with Kilcreggan - there is one pub, one (small) café and, sadly, no restaurant.”

And, as he went on to point out, there are 13 daily crossings of the local ferry to Gourock, full service having resumed in July.

Visitors to the village are much more likely to require local facilities via that route. The Waverley, lovely as it was to see her back, makes its last call here tomorrow for the season.

I doubt that the café, with one loo, would be thrilled to become an alternative “convenience.” Ditto the pub.

But, hold hard, the council has another winning solution.

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I quote: “In a number of places where public conveniences are closed community groups and/or businesses have approached us about the potential of working in partnership in order to open their facilities.

“This could mean cleaning being carried out by the group/business rather than Council staff… this could be an option for Kilcreggan.”

Soooo – we can have our cludgie back. If we clean it ourselves!

I don’t call that a “partnership”. I call it a dereliction of duty.

I’m very well aware that loos are an easy target for councils trying to balance budgets.

And I’m certainly not against communities mucking in to preserve services.

To date, as the indefatigable Mr L points out, we have taken over running and renovating our village hall and the library, whilst the derelict Craigrownie play park was re-constituted thanks to a fundraising campaign.

This is not a community averse to volunteering. However there will not be a four-deep queue applying to be amateur loo attendants.

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