Rev Christine Murdoch: How can we love other people better?

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As I type this Advertiser column, I am preparing to conduct my first wedding in more than two years.

The second is just three weeks away - and however excited I may be, I am sure my excitement is nothing compared to the couples who will be married. Both have had their plans changed at least once due to Covid restrictions.

After the couples have exchanged their vows and their rings, I have the great privilege to say these words to them:

By these signs you take each other, to have and to hold from this day forward;

for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,

to love and cherish, for as long as you live.

I suspect that most couples who have had plans delayed and changed in the past two years will have experienced those extremes in one way or another.

Perhaps not in terms of material riches or poverty, but certainly poverty of opportunity and perhaps richness of support.

"A couple who have remained close in the face of all that has been thrown at them in the last two years probably has a very firm foundation to their relationship"

In fact, I would go further than that, and say that a couple who have remained close in the face of all that has been thrown at them, and at all of us, in the course of the last two years probably has a very firm foundation to their relationship.

Yet that does not mean that we should not continue to work on the relationships with those who are closest to us.

I heard someone say recently that each day they ask of themselves, “How can I love my family better?”

What a wonderful basis that is for family life. It changes the focus of our relationships away from ourselves and on to the other person. It becomes not a question of “what can I gain from this relationship?”, but rather one of “what can I give to it?”

Jesus put it another way when he said: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Yet this is not just advice for those who are closest to us.

Jesus said this just after he advised us to love our enemies and to pray for those who abuse us.

I am sure many Ukrainians are finding it very difficult to love their enemies at the moment. Yet I believe this is more about reminding ourselves that all people are made in God’s image, and that being so, when I hate my fellow human being, I am denying them their God given humanity.

Burning and damaged army vehicles in the Ukraininan city of Kharkhiv (AP Photo/Marienko Andrew)

I also believe I deplete my own life when I hold on to grudges and rancour.

The reasons why Putin has invaded Ukraine are many and complex.

Yet as I pray for peace in that country, and around the world, I am reminded of the song: “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

In other words, how can I love other people better?